Honest[Lee]

I’ve been 21 for a week now. Its been a difficult week.

It took a while for me to recover from last Friday’s festivities. My friends did a lot to help me though, I’m very grateful. I had a kick ass birthday party, despite the stresses of being a hostess. The boys put on an awesome fireworks show, the lake was beautiful, and no one died.

Its been kind of down hill from there.

Work has been hectic. Two new babies means more and more directions, more whining, more diapers. They’re sweet though, I just am very tired. But I got a raise! A pretty good one too. I’m very proud.

Things haven’t been great socially- I feel more distance with my friends. I feel like I’ve lost a couple. I feel the strain on my relationship. Hopefully this can all be solved with time, alcohol, and exercise.

I’m looking foward to this weekend though. I’m going to get some done today, go for drinks with kate, hang out at the lake/ with the boys tomorrow, and get a shit ton done Sunday.

I’m also thinking I”m going to buy an ipod! Mine was destoryed on my birthday, but I’ve been needing a new one anyway. So here’s to new beginnings!

It has been forever since I”ve updated…

I’ve been working at the preschool. I love it and hate it. The kids are great- for the first hour Monday morning. The rest of the week is hard. But I have some time off soon because-

ITS MY BIRTHDAY THIS FRIDAY!!!!!

My birthday. On the fourth of July. My TWENTY-FIRST birthday.

I’m pretty pumped.

Lets go away for a while.

Despite all the drama and bullshit I”ve been through, I’m about to take a trip. A trip to heaven!! We’ll be leaving for Manchester TN at 6 AM tomorrow morning. I will have four days of absolutely music, friends, and no responsibility.

I think its about time I had a vacation.

The lunatic is in my head.

So, I’m going kind of crazy. More like really, really crazy. Certain things have been brought to my attention that make me question pretty much everything.

I’m really sad. I don’t know whether or not I’ll be able to trust again. I don’t know whether or not I’m making the right decisions. I’m hurt and embarassed. I wish things could be the way they were before. I was so blissfully ignorant.

I’m really mad too. About as mad as I’ve ever been. I give and give and give and give and this is what happens to me?! Its enough to drive anyone crazy.

I just had this picture perfect relationship and its come crashing down at my feet. He was sweet to me, he was good, he was kind and thoughtful. He was my best friend, someone I could totally be myself around. I don’t know that it will ever be the same.

Bonnaroo meeting tonight. I’m very excited.

The babies have worn me out. I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass out immediately following the bonnaroo meeting.

I have no money. Thanks to a tremendous oversight, I owe money for June’s rent at an apartment i’m not using. Bummer.

Well respected man.

I have fire in my veins and thunder in my ears.

Beatles should calm me down.

We’re about to go see Iron Man. I was a little bit more excited about the IMAX, but I do want to see Iron Man in theaters and I haven’t been able to find anyone to go with me so far.

I can’t wait to be back in Knoxville. Everytime I leave town like this I spend a lot of time reflecting on my life. I’m really happy with the way things are going. I have a beautiful house, a great relationship, a good job. 

I’m a pretty responsible young adult. I do my fair share of drinking, I attend/host parties. I don’t have a certain set of beliefs, but I have a set of morals. I’m also very open about my lifestyle. I don’t have any reason to hide anything from anyone. I also maintain a household and hold a full time job. Still, I don’t have the respect of some people. I don’t know what else I can do.

I’m not going to say anything about it, though. Just a few more hours.  

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull was bad. Just bad.

I’m in Birmingham, I’m exhausted, I’m about to kill someone. I’m really tired- I’ve been up since 7 AM, I’ve been with babies/been in the car all day. I just a few minutes alone. I want to read and fall asleep. 

The end.