So, I’ve been friends with this one professor of mine. We’ve been exchaging emails having a friendly dialogue about a variety of subjects including family, regional differences, personalities (its a class about personalities). Anyway, I looked up to him as a kind of mentor because he was the one of a handful of my professors who ever bothered to learn my name. And he is certainly the only one who bothered to talk to me. So, I thought a lot of him.
Well today I get a really inappropriate email. Asking about meeting my parents. Talking to me about my appearance. Asking me for pictures of my best friend’s visit to town. I really don’t know what to say to him. It was all said in a way that could be perceived as either creepy or nonchalant. I don’t know, I don’t want to take chances. I’m probably not going to introduce him to my parents. And I’m not going to discuss my appearance. And I’m certainly not going to send him any pictures of me and my best friend.
I feel dirty, like I somehow asked for this by my friendliness. What if I didn’t really deserve that good grade? That is a terrible thought. I just feel wrong. Creeped out. Icky.
Part of my personality profile (I’m an ISFJ, I learned this stuff in class) is that when I am wronged, or I feel like someone overstepped their boundaries I take a looooooong time to forgive someone.
What do I do here? Move on and pretend it never happened? (This is the popular consensus.) Address it directly and tell him I was made to feel uncomfortable by his message? Whatever I do I think its probably a good idea to stop emailing.
My best friend says that this is a pretty common occurence. I kind of hope so because it would make me feel less icky, but at the same time I don’t want other girls to feel like this.
Am I overreacting? Whatever… I feel the way I feel.
So, I had a lovely evening watching the Vols lose. Upon my arrival home I noticed that the use of my driveway was completely blocked by Laura’s friend Liz. She does this every time! Three freaking people use that driveway, we need to get in and out of it. SO, when I jokingly said “excellent parking job, liz.” She got her panties in a wad. And then I discovered that Laura ate ALL of my smore stuff when I asked her not to. And then she said she won’t let me use the yellow dress for Dragon*con. Damnit!
THEN I called Ramsey and I was like “Hey, do you want Oliver tonight?” And he’s like “Yeah, but it would appear to be a weakness if I talked to you for more than two seconds. I’m in front of dudes right now and I need to act like I don’t give a shit. I’ll call when its more convenient for me.” Fuck that!
I need to go somewhere else for a while.
Oh. my. goodness.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately reminiscing about days of old when I would get drunk and have fun and be totally irresponsible. So, last night I gave it another shot. I mean, I crafted and drank 3 beers (maybe four?) and then went to the bar and had two more. It was quite enough. I got the hiccups last night before I went to bed. That’s how you know its going to be a rough morning.
The reason I included a picture of my phone along with my pitiful self was to illustrate how it is just barely still morning. Also I did it to brag about my new iphone.
Oliver and I are going to recover enough to go cuddle Ramsey (who is undoubtedly feeling the hangovers worse than we are).
Yes, Oliver drank too.
Okay, I just read over some of my posts from the last year. For give my most immediate post. I’m an idiot. I have so much to be happy about- I just need to find a way to cram more hours in the day.
Just like Oliver, my problem is loving too much.
Its been a long time since I’ve graced these pages. I kind of doubt I’ve been missed, imaginary audience.
Things are different, but the same. I’m still living in my house. Its messy and wonderful. Laura has fused with the couch. They are one now. Katie has moved on to her own house and her own responsibility. I’m now living with Miriya, she’s pretty wonderful.
I’m still with Ramsey. Things are great. Alarmingly great.
So, my big issue tonight is whether or not I’m already past my prime. I know, I’m 22. I have plenty of life ahead of me. But are my days of youthful indiscretion over? I’ve gotten so boring in the past year. I have a house. I have to take care of it. I have a dog. I have to take care of it. I have school. I have to get good grades. I have a job. I can’t go out partying.
I feel like I should get out and be crazy and youthful and stupid while I can still get away with it. But is partying really worth it? How much can I juggle? There’s a reason my lifestyle has changed. I am never bored. I am always tired at the end of the day. I know I’m working towards something important, but is it worth it? I don’t have enough time for my family, friends- or even for myself I haven’t touched my banjo in weeks. I barely use my piano.
I just need to sit back and prioritize I guess. Really think about what is important to me.
I guess we’ll see, right?
It’s okay, I’m still alive. Just barely though. I’ve been to bonnaroo. It is my annual vacation to exercise all my youthful indiscretions. Music, friends, camping, sun, etc. You can’t go wrong.
My travels aren’t over yet though. I’m going to Birmingham to visit my dad. It is going to be fathers day, after all. I am not sure how I feel about this trip. I was looking forward to it because we were gonna go to city stages, another music festival. But last week I got in an argument with my dad. Things are better now. I’m just apprehensive.
Goodnight moon.
Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don’t worry…I’m here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you.
